The one thing that I missed above all else when I was traveling was my mom. 

Sounds cringe, right? Maybe it is. 

For me, it wasn’t because I missed her support or needed her help. What I really wanted was for her to see what I was seeing, experience it with me. If any of you know my mom, you know that she is a tireless caretaker and my most staunch supporter. She is, hands down, the strongest woman I’ve ever known and has weathered incredible turmoil while maintaining her kind and giving spirit. 

She grew up as one of ten siblings and wasn’t given a lot of the privileges that I have. That has always weighed on me. I didn’t grow up traveling a lot. My travel bug started in college. Most of our family trips were to my grandmother’s apartment in Florida which rotated between the family members. Some of my favorite memories are there, searching for seashells on the beach to steadily grow our collection which we catalogued with the assistance of books. That isn’t to say that my mom hasn’t traveled, she’s definitely been to more places than a majority of Americans. Those places, however, were sequestered to North America and Europe. Her step-brothers were the real adventurers of the family, something that I don’t think she ever craved to mimic. Where I got the traveling gene, I’m not certain, but her undyingly youthful spirit has allowed me to always dream big. 

When I told her about the idea for my first backpacking trip, I was surprised to find that she was incredibly supportive. Of course she was concerned about me going alone – as a woman and a mother, how can you not be? Still, she told me the story about how she traveled for three and a half months through France with her sister at a similar age and that it was a time in her life that she reflects upon fondly. So, when I brought up India and Southeast Asia, her first reaction was ‘do it’. Her second reaction was that I needed a plan. She is nothing if not prudent and logical, so picking up and going with absolutely no ideas was out of the question. A good mandate, honestly. You do need a least some planning before a trip like this even if it will be changing constantly while you’re out there. 

Without her voice telling me that my idea wasn’t crazy, I don’t think I could have actually done this. 

There is one piece of jewelry that I haven’t removed since I received it. That is a ring my mom gave me a few years back. It was something she saw as an ad on instagram for people with anxiety, a sterling silver ring with little beads that you can move around for fidgeting purposes. When I first received it, I couldn’t help but laugh. She knows me too well. Her initial goal was to redirect my finger-bed picking energy to a more sustainable source. Sorry mom, bad habits die hard. But, I still kept the ring. 

This piece served as a type of comfort blanket for me during times of strife. Whenever I looked at it, I would feel immediately soothed. Its power first aided me in my move from Maryland to California, a place I had never visited before with hardly any people I knew. California was the first time I saw a wild cactus but also the first time I was truly isolated from my support system. The move was in the pursuit of a career I had long dreamed of chasing, a risk that I had been avoiding since college graduation. When the office of my new position reopened after COVID, I had to take the plunge. Though the ring comforted me during that time, it took on a new meaning while I was traveling. 

Staying connected to your family during prolonged travel is difficult. For a while, I had a group chat with my mom and dad where I sent all my photos as I travelled from country to country. Sadly, it didn’t last long because, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, we ran out of storage and the group chat crashed. I even started FaceTiming my mom (thanks to some excellent sim cards with large data plans) to take her on tours of cities like Hanoi and Luang Prabang. Locals definitely gave me strange looks while I was doing that, but she loved those calls. 

There was this urge to have them share my experiences since I knew they would probably never be able to come to this part of the world. It saddened me to think that. 

In Kodaikanal, a hill station in India, my perspective changed. For the last few months, I had been glancing at my ring for support when participating in activities that scared me or traveling terrains that felt uncertain. It stayed on my hand, as it had for 5 years, and served as my courage. Looking out at the mountains covered in a thick mist, I felt this sudden connection to my mom. Like she was really there with me, like she was holding my hand. And, suddenly, it hit me. 

Wasn’t she there the whole time? 

Every moment of joy and every moment of anxiety, the ring that had for so long felt like an extension of her was there. It wasn’t actually her, she’s alive and well. But, it was her spirit that had long allowed me to chase the impossible and weather the unthinkable. Her presence had followed me on this journey, encouraging me to take the next step and not to fear the unknown. 

While I can’t say that I travel for her, because I truthfully do it for myself, I still feel like each step I take into the unfamiliar is a step that she takes by my side. Each lesson I learn, she learns with me. Each person I befriend, she adds to her own community. I am and have always been an extension of her spirit and the ring serves as that reminder for me every day. 

Even if you go it alone, the people you love will be alongside you. I always return ready to share my stories, but knowing that, in a small way, they already have taken part in them. 

Beyond my amazing mom, I feel my sister in every deep conversation I have. I hear my dad in every museum I visit. I see one of my best friends in every animal I greet. 

I never feel far away from any of them even when we are miles apart. 

As someone much smarter than me has said, the people we love make us who we are. I am grateful for those people and am excited to take them with me on my future adventures. 

Follow along as I continue to share my story, tips and tricks, and speak with people I’ve met to hear their own amazing experiences. 

Thanks for reading and see you in the next one!