The first step is always the hardest, right? Honestly, its true. 

Making the decision to take my first backpacking trip in Southeast Asia was one of the most harrowing experiences for me. The logistics were tricky and required some creativity, but the hardest part was overcoming my own anxiety. It gets easier from there, but the first step definitely is the hardest. 

I’ve always been an anxious person, trying to predict the future and plan ten steps ahead. If I didn’t know the outcome right away, I was hesitant to try something or take a risk. It made me overly cautious and limited me. In truth, I felt trapped by it. 

So, when a career setback hit me after years of struggle building to that point, my anxiety was at an all-time high.

There I was, newly 27, looking at a future that seemed more bleak than exciting. The ingrained narrative was that your 20s are for building something – a family, a career, a future. So, I had been working hard to do just that, but found myself suddenly adrift. The job market for my industry was in shambles and a step down to stay afloat was all but assured. The thought of going through the grueling process of rejection and radio-silence after having done it so recently sounded awful. I was overwhelmed. 

After some late-night thought spirals and way too many calls to my family, it was clear that something needed to change. This idea of a straightforward path was crushing and, honestly, it didn’t feel right anymore.

What else could I do?

I had fantasized for years about traveling, seeing the world. A lot of my free time was spent hiking alone in the mountains, exploring the landscape. Growing up on fantasy novels with characters traversing the unknown, I felt a pull to this kind of uncertainty. But, it had never seemed possible. 

It wasn’t until a phone call with my college friend in India that I actually started imagining another path. She suggested visiting her in her new apartment in Mumbai, meeting her friends, and reconnecting after a few years apart from one another. The offer was immediately tempting, but I couldn’t help but wonder if this trip could be more.

This is where the influencers and writers I had been following started to change my outlook. 

I had savings from years of working and being exhaustingly frugal, my aptly named squirrel fund. Touching it felt like burning through a lifeline as my family had always expressed the importance of having savings. The thought bubbled up my trademark anxiety, but these people who I had never met before showed me I could take this risk on a budget. 

Videos revealing hostel accommodations for $7-$14 a night, meals for under $1, and flights for well under $200 filled my screen. Could I really do this?

There were logistics outside of money, of course. I’d never backpacked before and didn’t know anything about what I would need or how I’d navigate abroad. Living life out of a backpack seemed insane as I had always overpacked for trips in the past. However, looking at those trips I hadn’t needed half of what I had brought. In fact, many of those clothes or items were never even removed from the suitcase. If I was to really nail down what would absolutely be needed, it could fit in a backpack. 

Some shirts, tank tops, underwear, bras, sportswear, shorts, a dress, medicines, and toiletries was where I started. Everything I needed did fit into a 60 pound backpack and a 20 pound front backpack with room to spare. Embarrassingly, most of the room was taken up by my ridiculously vast supply of sunscreen (I’m pale, don’t judge me). Anything else could be purchased abroad and doing laundry out there was surprisingly affordable. 

Additional research showed me apps/websites that would serve as invaluable resources while abroad: Hostelworld, 12go, Grab, WhatsApp (obviously), and Airalo to name a few. Looking into these logistics started to make it feel more and more possible. This age of technology brought with it resources to guide the adventurous, making this kind of travel easier than ever. 

Finally, it was time to get the flights. I purchased a ticket from LAX to Bali for a midweek flight with a 12 hour layover in South Korea that cost around $650 along with a return ticket from Bangkok with a 9 hour layover that cost the same for a whopping total of about $1,300. This was by far the biggest expense of the trip. I definitely could have gotten cheaper flights, but I was having panic attacks on planes at the time (still a struggle for me) and felt better purchasing through Delta, an airline I had come to trust. That choice actually was what enabled me to continue to elongate my stay, with no-fee changes to flights that had e-credits being returned to me for future use. The flight even let me purchase insurance for around $50 dollars that covered any health emergencies or other financial hiccups that could occur for a 6 month period. Which turned out to be a boon since my trip became 5 months. 

This insane idea was becoming a reality. 

The last step was to break my sublease, purchase a storage unit, and find a spot to store my car. Easier said than done, right? Well, this step ended up being much easier than I had originally thought. Public Storage had great rates for units and the app Neighbor allowed me to find someone who had an open parking space that I could rent. Together, my expenses back home whittled down to under $300 a month. 

Days before my journey, I was still panicking. What ifs racked my mind and the voices of people who doubted my plan played in the back of my head. The ride to the airport was tense with frantic texts exchanged with my mom. Was this really happening? 

Checking in at the counter, I had made my first mistake. The visa-upon-arrival for Bali required an exit ticket and the one from Bangkok was not sufficient. This was easily remedied with the purchase of a flight to Phuket, but was my first lesson in just how much I still didn’t know. No matter how much planning and researching you do, there are always going to be mistakes or unexpected challenges. But, that is an integral part of the experience.

This first step was the most agonizing part of my journey. The resources were all there, but the real challenge was overcoming my fears and doubts. What I’ve come to learn is that when you are scared of doing something, often times that means you need to do it. Fear is where you push your boundaries and find that you are more capable than you ever imagined. Crossing that line is where growth begins and I’ve definitely grown a lot, in ways that didn’t become apparent until a year later. 

Let this be a sign that the trip you’ve been dreaming of is possible. I mean, if I could do it, then you most certainly can. 

I’ll continue to break down these logistics in future posts along with tips, stories, and interviews with fellow travelers. Follow along as I continue to learn and embark on different adventures. 

Next stop is Taiwan and I couldn’t be more excited!