The question I hear the most when I tell people about my experience backpacking through Southeast Asia and India is: ‘You did that alone?’ This is usually followed up with ‘were you scared?’ or ‘was it hard?’ The easy answers are yes, I was alone and yes, I was definitely scared at times, and of course, it was challenging. But, the real answer is never that simple. 

Now, imagine. 

You’ve just arrived in Nong Khiaw, the most picturesque little town in the north of Laos. Lush, green mountains covered in wild fauna framing stilted structures. A wide river with canopied slow-boats meandering over the glassy blue surface. It is a sight unlike any other. This is slightly tainted, however, by lugging your 50-pound backpack that has never fit quite right after a bed-bug steam wash and your 20 pound front backpack holding your most precious valuables including your passport and coveted bug spray. But you’re on solid land again after a 3.5 hour bus ride from hell. Through twisting mountains over pot-hole riddled roads in the searing heat with the open windows as the only relief, you were definitely thankful for the excess dramamine in your possession. You’ve come here to climb a mountain that is said to have the most beautiful views and camp overnight to see an unforgettable sunset and sunrise. This has been a goal of yours for some time now and you’ve been training by climbing steep cliffs in Vang Vieng. When the moment arises to finally set off, you are overcome by a terrible bout of food poisoning. 

Can you still do this? Do you turn back? You’ve come all this way.

This is one of the many challenges I faced during my journey and not an uncommon experience. I’m telling this story to help answer those earlier questions. Because, again, the answers are never so simple. 

The only reason I had heard about this small town was through meeting fellow backpackers at various hostels in Laos. My friend, who I had met a month ago at a hostel in Chiang Mai, was accompanying me for this excursion after meeting up again in Luang Prabang. However, we both neglected to book housing for the night before starting the hike the next day. So, the plan became walking through the village going door to door at different homestays to find one that had an open room for a reasonable price, an unexpectedly challenging endeavor. We probably should have thought it through more. Drenched in sweat and lazily debating sleeping on the ground, the seventh place finally had availability and we were shown to a dank room with two twin beds that had definitely seen better days. But, for one night, it would do. 

The next task was to book a tour for this mountain hike which took all of 30 minutes as companies abound and a quick google search confirmed their efficacy. Luckily, I had withdrawn a good deal of kip in Luang Prabang in anticipation, but my friend needed to scour the town for a working ATM which there turned out to only be one. After payment, the guide read through a packing list for this overnight trip and gave us a location for an early meeting time to commence. Finally, it was time for food. 

A girl in the room next door introduced herself, having stayed in the town for a week, and recommended a restaurant up the street as well as a bar next door for a night-cap. After a quick shower to clean off the sweat, we were off. Her recommendations turned out to be a boon as the food was flavorful with chicken tenderly cooked in a spicy yellow curry – reminding me heavily of previous meals in Thailand. The bar was crowded with travelers laughing in groups and locals excitedly chatting with anyone open for a conversation. Alcohol seemed like a bad idea for an early start so, instead, I ordered a plate of banana pancakes to satiate my sweet craving while my friend did opt for a beer. 

It turned out, a beer would have been a better option. The next day my stomach was feeling queasy as I gagged over the toilet bowel and no amount of tums were helping. My friend was fine, however, and rearing to go. This was not ideal, but I had come all the way here for this hike and I’d be damned to miss it for anything. Time to go and just pray that this feeling would pass. 

Our group was a mix of people from all over – Australia, England, Germany, France, New Zealand, Taiwan – and everyone was in high spirits. The ascent started out ok as I kept a slow pace, opting to chat with a German girl while the others charged ahead. It was about an hour in that things started to take a turn. It wasn’t pretty and the guides bringing up the rear were definitely concerned. I had to take frequent stops which ended up leaving me time to chat with them about their lives, families, and jobs. A few times they asked if I wanted to turn back, but, again, there was no way I was missing this. My assortment of medicines would just have to do.

Finally, I reached the top with nothing but sheer will propelling me. Somehow, I was only about 30 minutes behind the others in arriving. Taking a deep breath, I peered over the cliff and the view alone was worth everything that came before. The greenery stretched for miles over varying hills and mountains with the river reflecting the sparse clouds which I now resided over top of as they floated along. The only thing to break up the wild was the town which was starting to twinkle in the twilight as the sun set behind the expanse, reflecting its warm hues upon the landscape. I’d never seen something so beautiful and, for a moment, I was afraid I might never find anything to top it. 

As night closed in, I joined my friend who was chatting with others on rocks directly overlooking the town. I was still feeling quite nauseous and a headache had taken hold at the back of my skull, so the beers that had been carried up were out of the question. Still, it was a night of laughter and deep conversation as I learned everyone’s stories and shared my own. An American is a rare find out there and I was instantly showered with questions. How did you get time off? Why did you come here? Where are you going next? Are you alone?

Are you alone? That question gave me the most pause. Did I set out on this journey alone? Yes. But, am I alone? Well, my friend sitting beside me is all the answer I need. In truth, I never felt alone on the entire adventure. There were meals taken in solitude with a good book for company, yes, but those moments were anything but lonely. The people I met and continued to re-meet along the way colored my journey. They were integral parts of my experience and each new place offered more excited individuals ready to bond over shared exploration. So, alone? Sometimes. But, never lonely. 

That night I slept under the stars (until my headache propelled me back into the tent). Strangely, I found myself smiling despite the rocks digging into my back through the thin canvas. Even with everything that had happened and was happening, this had been one of the best experiences of my life. I had learned to be resilient, to be flexible, and about the world in ways I had never imagined possible. I woke up the next day, still nauseous and still with that pounding headache, but utterly ready for the next adventure to begin. 

If you’re still here, I know that you are really considering taking this risk. Because, it is a risk and it will always have its ups and its downs. Nothing is guaranteed and this hyper-specific story will definitely not be your exact experience, but that isn’t the point. 

I never thought in a million years that I would have the opportunity of traveling long term, alone. It was never something that anyone showed me could be done or even recommended. When I set out on my first journey, I thought it would be for 1.5 months (already sounding like an incredibly long time) and that I would be by myself for most of it with only the trip to visit my friend in India as a break from the solitude. The only thing that kept me going was the promise of adventure, something that I had been craving since COVID. However, I was wrong about my assumptions. In fact, I was out there for 5 months. 

As someone with a long-time anxiety disorder, my friends and family were definitely concerned about this idea. There were many people who expressed concern about the impulsivity, that this might be too much for me to handle. I had those same thoughts. This was uncharted territory with only a handful of influencers to convince me it was possible. Thank god I listened to them. Otherwise, I would have missed this unique experience that, more than a year later, I can confidently say changed the trajectory of my life as well as improved my confidence and excitement for the future (which had previously always been a feeling of dread). 

I wasn’t just out of college when I did this, as I didn’t have any savings then, and that made boarding that first plane all the more terrifying. I had built a career and a life for myself. Was I really ready to put that aside? What would I be coming back to when it was over? Some quick planning and discussions with friends at home about my return made it possible for me and, when I returned, I found that I was all the more capable of figuring out the rest. I even found it easier to connect with people after struggling for so long with social anxiety. Meeting different people and hearing their stories was, by far, my favorite aspect of my journey and I was able to carry that home with me. They even helped me envision different possibilities for my future outside of the straight and narrow path that had made me feel so trapped and helpless. 

My mission here is to help people take this step and aid them along their journey. I want to share with you what I have learned so far and what I will continue to learn (because I’m anything but an expert and definitely still making a lot of mistakes). I also want to share interviews from people that I’ve met and will meet as I believe that everyone’s story is unique and utterly inspiring. I hope that these anecdotes, tips, and chats can help you all envision your own adventure. 

Whether its for a few weeks or a few months, I believe solo travel is the most valuable gift you can give yourself to allow yourself to grow and widen your perspective. Sometimes, the world can feel small or far away, but it doesn’t have to be. 

Follow along as I continue to post more about my journey and the future journeys to come. 

Taiwan is my next stop and I couldn’t be more excited!